Things Your Husband Wishes You Would Do More Often



15 Things Your Husband Wishes You Would Do More Often

Break out into a spontaneous dance party...
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Tell him how awesome he is.
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Of course he's not going to complain whenanyonesays something nice about him (who would?), but hearing it from you means more, and experts say it's a man's number-one relationship need. "The most important thing husbands crave from their partners is appreciation and approval—but it's amazing how many of us are accustomed to telling our spouses what they're doing wrong without balancing that out with positive feedback," says relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author ofCheat on Your Husband (With Your Husband). So for every time you whine about his football obsession or forgetting to take out the trash, remember to high-five him for picking up the kids from soccer or tell him how kickass his work presentation looked. It'll get you big-time brownie points, not to mention a very smiley husband.

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Go out with the girls.
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We're not saying your hubs doesn't love having you around (there's no one he'd rather Netflix and chill with). But guys need time to themselves—and so do you—in order to feel their best, says Syrtash. "It isn't always easy to give space when home, work, and family responsibilities demand so much time and attention," she adds. So consider this your invitation to plan that girlfriend's getaway, or even a long Saturday brunch. Get a sitter for the kids so he can do whatever he feels like, too—even if that means sitting in his man-cave and binge-watchingOutlander.

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Throw in a load of laundry.
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Okay, before we trigger any outrage, let us explain: In healthy relationships, housework is divided up, but it's not always split down the middle. What with jobs, kids and, uh, alifein the mix, sometimes one of you ends up cleaning more than the other. Which is cool—so long as it gets balanced out down the road, says Syrtash. And even if it's "his task" to do the laundry, if he's super swamped that week, do your best not to hem and haw about handling it. Tossing in a load sans complaint will show him you're a team, she says, and it's all about that ebb and flow.

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Let him get a little vulnerable.
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Alright, we admit it: The word "vulnerable" sounds all kinds of self-help-book cheesy. But until recently, it wasn't really a thing for men to embrace their soft sides, failures, or weaknesses. "In our society, men don't traditionally get to cry or admit they're feeling scared or hurt, and may feel shame because these things aren't 'manly,'" says Berman. "That's an unfair thing to ask of anyone, and leads to inauthenticity and broken communication." Encourage him to open up about something from his past, and let him know it's cool for him toalwaysexpress how he's feeling—not just when he's playing the role of caretaker.

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Initiate sex.
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Compliment how well he's balancing everything.
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Let him off the hook.
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It's natural to feel a little protective of your you-and-me time every now and again, but don't guilt-trip him about it. Syrtash says that never ends well and, to be honest, it's most likely going to make him more stubborn about doing whatever he wants. "Men want to enjoy outlets outside their marriage—friends, sports, whatever—and not be made to feel guilty about it," she says. It might sound kind of "duh," but if you're honest, you probably do it sometimes, right? Don't beat yourself up—just make a point of encouraging him (or at least not picking on him) next time he wants to go do his thing.

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Be direct, but not bossy.
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If you're like, well, every woman on the planet, you probably have a system for how things should get done and you have no problem explaining each and every one. But for some reason, sometimes what we want in marriage gets lost or miscommunicated. "Men commonly complain that they wish their wives would tell them specifically what they can do to make her happy instead of trying to guess all the time," says Vermeire. In other words, try not to assume you're on the same page, because that just turns into frustration on both ends. It's not bratty or demanding if you nix the 'tude and tell him what's up with calm sincerity. He'll be grateful you said it, and likely more than happy to make sure whatever it is you want gets done.

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Put down your phone.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah — quit rollin' your eyes at us (we can feel it). You hear it all the time, but experts really say it bums your husband out to see you texting when he's telling you about his day. Or scrolling through Instagram while you're waiting for the waiter on date night. He might do it sometimes too—it's a gender-neutral impulse, says Vermeire—but that's no excuse. "Get into the habit of unplugging—no TV, phone, laptops, or Xbox—and just talk to each other at least once a week," she suggests. The only exception? When you're sending these sexy texts from across the room.

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Admire him in comparison to others.
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Yes, guys love it when you praise them. But can you guess what they love even more? When you praise them in a way that makes them feel like there's no one else you'd want (or could even imagine) doing it instead. "Men want to know that they are valued and irreplaceable," says Berman. As silly as it might sound to tell him there's no one who makes a better cup of coffee—even your favorite Starbucks barista—he'll appreciate knowing all the ways he ranks #1 to you.

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Let him help you.
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This one sounds easy, but it's actually insanely hard for most women (it's part of that knowing how you want stuff done thing). "I hear men say, 'I wish she would let me help her instead of trying to do everything herself,'" says Vermeire. "Or they'll say, 'I wish she'd acknowledge that I helped her instead of criticizing that I didn't do it right.'" So maybe he didn't arrange the living room the same way you would have before a visit from your in-laws. But he tried, and that counts for something, especially when the way he organized things probably isn't going to destroy your feng shui. So take a load off, stop assuming you're the only one who can roast that chicken properly, and let your husband take a crack at it. He wants to!

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Tell him what you're thinking in bed.
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...Even if you're not having sex. Opening up about it when you're not in the throes—how you're feeling about it, whether you're in the mood or not—is something that helps your husband understand you and your needs better. "It's not just about telling him, 'I love it when you touch me that way,'" says Berman. "Letting him know that you're not in the mood, and maybe explaining why, clues him in to the fact that it doesn't mean you don't find him attractive or want to emotionally connect with him." Sometimes words speak just as loudly as actions, so just tell him you're tired already.

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Thank him, thank him, thank him.
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There's not much your husband loves more (okay, except for getting frisky) than hearing those two magic little words. "Gratitude is big," says Berman. "Many times we don't realize how much partners crave appreciation, even if it's for something he does all the time. Thanking him for taking out the trash or being a great dad means so much to him." So start paying attention to the little stuff: He picked up milk. Thanks! He put the kids to bed. Thanks! He gave you the last bite of dessert. Thanks! Bonus: He'll probably start showing you a little more gratitude, too.

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Hit the spa.
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News flash: Your husband thinks you deserve to be spoiled (hellyes).He sees you working hard, juggling everything and everyone in your life, and wants you to give yourself a break. "For women who put their own needs aside, men often wish they would do nice things for themselves more often," says Vermeire. "I know for sure men would like their wives to love their own bodies instead of criticizing themselves." So book that massage or facial, and treat yourself to a new dress every once in awhile.






Video: If a Man Does These 12 Things, His Love Will Never End

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Date: 10.12.2018, 16:20 / Views: 91584